Director’s Notes – The Faithful Ego

The minute hand on your watch face is moving far too slow at this moment for you.  You keep looking, thinking, “Is the battery dead in this thing.” Your anxiety is building, causing the reality of life to be distorted. Time is now a slow creep, like moss over a rock. In reality, time is moving normally but with this caveat: you need to complete a work project and you are waiting for a co-worker to finish up their part so you can turn the project in. It’s high pressure. This project is vital to the company keeping the customer happy on a very large contract. The higher ups in the company are paying very close attention to this one and you are leading the project. You are aware of every process that needs to be completed, but parts have been assigned out to those who have more knowledge then yourself in specific areas.

Your anxiety is building because the time due for each part is very near, and one part of the project has not been submitted to you yet. (Due time: 2:00pm. Current time: 1:42pm) Your co-worker is not the type to miss deadlines or do poor work. You begin to think, “Maybe you are being sabotaged. Maybe you didn’t stress the importance of this project during the meetings.” Your mind wandering only adds more stress to how you are feeling. You need to make a decision now! Time is almost up. You look down, and that minute hand is still creeping by.

I’m sure many of us can relate to this feeling. The situation may be different but the process is the same. The anxiety of making a decision we feel will affect our immediate future, which in turn will affect our long term future. Why are you feeling this way though? Could it be your ego and it saying if you are not the one doing something then it will not be correct, on time, or good enough? It’s definitely not the logical side. In this case, the logical side lines up with faith. Faith in the process, faith in the person whom you are waiting on, faith in not being able to control every single component. Faith in knowing that you have done what is required of you for the process to work, and because you have done your part and done it well the results will be appealing to you.

1:51pm rolls around and that email you were looking for just rolled in. As you begin to read the email, the anxiety begins to wane. You start thinking to yourself, “You already knew your co-worker was dependable. Why did you have all this build-up?” In life when we have projects or decisions or work that is large, we cannot do it all alone. We have to have faith not only in others to help, but faith that our decision to choose those to assist us was a great decision as well. If your ego is too big for anyone else to help or complete the task appropriately, you’ll find yourself working much harder than necessary and building a wall between your networks of people.

Leave a Reply